itseasytoremember:

wondyrwoman-deactivated20160623:

he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

YOU NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIMS

phase2:

*Crosses my arms and scoffs like an artsy gay coded goth boy in an 80s movie*

sexhaver:

sexhaver:

in Houston we have something called the 100 Club where if you donate 100 dollars to the police in a year you get a special, very visible sticker you can put on your back window that obviously in no way influences the way cops treat you and i just now learned that isnt a universal thing

how often do you think this guy gets pulled over for speeding

lollians:

jonphaedrus:

caymin-quinn:

jonphaedrus:

i need to take a canvas of texans. if youre texan please reblog this and add your favorite texas thing that is only funnier with the context of being texan. this one is mine. please. i need to know. cheese plates shaped like texas are also good. so is das barbecü. what else goes on this list.

I’ll see your Texas shaped cheese plates and raise you this Texas shaped cheese from the HEB, the Texas based grocery chain that is better than any other grocery chain

NOW THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!

Ok. 

1. This.

2. That absurd Christmas ornament I mailed you some time ago that features a pair of cowboy boots and the cryptic slogan “COWBOYS BELIEVE.”

3. THis. Which I have seen, live, and which is exactly as much of a Yeehaw Fever Dream Experience™ as it looks like.

4. Texas Toast. The very concept of Texas Toast. The fact that we, as Texans, are so wrapped up in our own Texan Identity, that we require a special kind of Toast. Texas Toast. From Texas. Bigger and Better and Butterier than Any Other Kind of Toast. The Superior Toast. Texas Toast. Yeehaw.

5. While we are on the subject of items consumed at breakfast, Cowboy Coffee. 

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of Cowboy Coffee, allow me to explain. Cowboy Coffee is a term that refers to a method of preparing coffee in the way that the term “French Press Coffee” refers to coffee prepared using a French Press.

The way you prepare Cowboy Coffee is as follows:

Step 1: Grind your coffee beans.

Step 2: Put your coffee grounds into a coffee kettle. But not just any kind of coffee kettle. Specifically this kind of coffee kettle:

Step 3: Put water into your coffee kettle on top of the loose coffee grounds.

Step 4: Heat this entire trainwreck up over a campfire.

Step 5: Pour and serve. As is. With the coffee grounds just loose in the bitter, watery, overly extracted coffee. Drink your goddamn coffee grounds like a man. It builds character.

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

cal3f:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

we only came to this site in the first place b/c we were gay and liked harry potter

i actually came to this site because of onceler incest

you’re just

gonna say those words huh

cure-papillon:

cure-papillon:

Not super into any of the event suits, but I think I might get one in case it comes in handy in the competitions? How much will the cheapest suit be? If it’s too much I might not even bother with that and keep saving

Nevermind, found that info! You get suits at 1,860, 5,160, 8,760, 12,360, and 15,060, if anyone else is curious

tankies:

onision-against-feminism:

tankies:

onision-against-feminism:

tankies:

banned a guy from my server because he asked me to be his gf

See this shit is why men are forced to hold in their feelings.  This is public humiliation and social isolation all because a guy confessed his love to a girl he likes.  I would say the metoo movement has gone way too far but it existing was already crossing the line.

you’re banned too

I’m not on your server.

delete your blog.

hxtml:

dankest-of-lies:

Reblog this or die.