the only valid naruto meta is the single use clothing sasuke theory my flatmates came up with after a drunken binge of the chuunin exams
“Single Use Clothing Sasuke” is a complex, multi-layered theory borne of the complex, multi-layered minds of my flatmates. It essentially boils down to the idea that Every Single Thing sasuke wears from the day of the uchiha massacre to the day he leaves the village are entirely different yet identical versions of the same two outfits. He only wears them once and then throws them out.
The idea behind this is based on the implications that a) sasuke lives alone in the uchiha compound which is intended to be lived in by hundreds of people, b) he was not cared or provided for in any way by the village adults after the massacre, and c) there are entire city blocks of empty uchiha houses full of free shit just sitting there, ESPECIALLY clothing.
Theory is as follows: sasuke, clearly unable to do his own laundry because he’s 12 and a moron, spends four years of his life using the abandoned clothes that previously belonged to the children in the uchiha clan as disposable clothing and there’s a landfill in Konoha somewhere just full of black playsuits.
Companion theory “One-Shirt Uzumaki” where naruto owns exactly one (1) set of clothing that he furiously hand washes every night at 1am.
you know what this is pretty plausible actually all things considered
barbarian: honestly any of them, but that’s irrelevant because barbarians are designed to have those stats dumped we gotta get into the Real hot takes
bard: listen most people would say wisdom BUT you should dump intelligence. be an idiot who can talk real good
cleric: dump charisma. live out your low charisma dreams. you have Good Plans but nobody listens to you because you cant talk well. be cassandra
druid: dump intelligence!! live out your woodsy dumbass dreams!! you know that leaves exist maybe!!!!
fighter: dump wisdom. be reckless. punch a guy. punch TWELVE guys. get kicked out of a bar. get into fights and then get Out of them
monk: listen monks are supposed to be spiritual and knowledegable shit but u know what? dump intelligence. be dumb punch shit
paladin: dump charisma. make your god hate you with how bad you talk to people. smash things with your holy light and shitty social skills
ranger: again, dump charisma. animals > people. eat leaves and weird people out
rogue: dump wisdom baby!! you got +7654354678 to stealth and nobody can Stop You from being impulsive if they dont know where you are
sorcerer: dump intelligence or wisdom. in fact, dump both. talk yourself out of any situation you get into because ur reckless and dont know shit
warlock: same fuckin thing, dump intelligence and wisdom. have a good time. u dont know how u got into ur pact and u probably dont care because now youve got sick magic powers
wizard: dump wisdom!! sure ur super smart but somebody could be 25% behind a rock and u wouldnt see em! blast spells at a moments notice!!! live ur dreams!!!
why the fuck is no one naming their children after greek goddesses? Name your fucking child Persephone?????? Bitch???????!?
If that makes you happy, my name is Demeter
In my experience, people named after Greek goddesses are some of the most ethereal, chaotic forces I have ever encountered.
Our Art Department’s nude model, for example, is a woman named Hera. She’s stunningly beautiful, rides a motorcycle as apparently her only vehicle, grows all her own food, and keeps bees, turtles, and a dog named Argus, who she walks around town with a peacock feather attached to his leash.
I am thoroughly convinced she is not of this realm.
pasta, lasagna, and pizza were actually brought to Italy from China by Marco Polo during the 13th century but okay.
This armour is late 16th century. That gives my mother of Italian origin 3 centuries to develop her pasta in order for me to vomit it on myself. This meme is historically accurate.
i never realized how much i hate modern art until i took a class in modern art
it’s so pretentious. like half of the pieces we’ve looked at have been purportedly commenting on elitism in art and income disparities when the piece itself sold for thousands of dollars to be put in a museum for rich people to look at. you’re supposed to look at barren canvases with vague splotches of color and meditate on the nature of life, navelgazing for an hour. bitch I can do that in my own home for free. most of the time the pieces themselves don’t require any skill, it’s just an asshole with some bright idea that ~~~no one has ever thought of before~~~ (which is bullshit, originality is a myth) and the gall to pretend that they’re saying something meaningful. A bunch of postmodernists specialize in literal plagiarism but with a different title. wow so edgy. really thought provoking. you sure are making a statement that’s relevant and people care about.
the most egregious example is this bullshit:
this is an overhead view of a plaza wherein some famous guy was commissioned to design a public art piece for. The brick and nonfunctional fountain was already there. The sculpture? a literal wall of iron bisecting the courtyard. this guy was paid over 100k to design this.
Now, this is located in a city, smack dab in the middle of a bunch of office buildings. Workers who had to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week doing menial desk jobs had to look at this ugly piece of shit. You want to have a nice picnic during lunch break with your work buddies? tough shit. You get tilted arc instead fucko. You can’t see from one end of the courtyard to another because some dick thought rebar sheet metal was more important. It also impeded movement between the buildings so that you have to go around this fucking obstacle instead of just fucking walking from one side to the other.
So yeah, these workers got pissed, because you’re making an ugly place even uglier for obscene amounts of money without thinking about the ppl who actually have to look at it every day (who had no say in the design). There have been countless studies done on stress and related health problems in office workers and having to look at ugly as sin shit like this piece of work actually contributes to stress and decreases mental and physical health (as opposed to pretty scenery or plants etc).
When the designer was told what people thought of his masterpiece, he threw an absolute shitfit. “art doesn’t have to be pretty”, he said. “art isn’t for the public”.
while it is absolutely true that art doesn’t have to be aesthetically pleasing to be meaningful or relevant, putting this fucking monstrosity in a place where people are forced to look at it day in day out, in addition to the ugly buildings and streets and shit that comprises the rest of their lives is just kind of a dick move. Yes, people are painfully aware that life and art and all that shit isn’t always pretty. they’re the ones who have to live with that fact, not some pompous asshole who thinks he’s god’s gift to man because he put some metal wall in a plaza.
And yeah, not all art is for the public. Art can be self-expression or just for your own enjoyment. But if you are being commissioned by the state, paid hundereds of thousands of tax dollars to make a PUBLIC art piece, yeah, it’s for the public! saying that other people have no say in what that public art piece looks like, implying that if other people don’t like your art that they just Don’t Understand True Art TM, is this hugely egotistical self-masturbatory elitism that puts the artist above the working people (when like the whole point of art is supposed to be disrupting this kind of bullshit thinking).
But that’s not even the best part. This fucking douchebag, upon being told that people don’t want this metal wall in their courtyard and that they want him to move it, freaks the FUCK out about how he “designed it just for this space and taking it out of its context would destroy it”. Which like, yeah context is important when understanding the meaning of a piece. but literally the only meaning of this piece was “i got paid obscene amounts of money and im gonna use it to make the ugliest thing i can think of literally just because”. If you move it out of the context of the plaza it wouldn’t be impeding foot traffic or being an eyesore to the workers who are forced to spend their days there, which is destroying the purpose of the work. So in the end this guy opts to have the piece destroyed rather than moved because he can’t stand to have his ~~~high art~~~ removed from its PurposeTM which is to be unpleasant. i dont give a single goddamn fuck about ‘advancing sculpture’ or whatever the fuck, if it’s causing people stress on top of their already stressful lives just because you thought it would be great to create this atrocity in a place where no one can escape from, you’re not ‘advancing’ anything, you’re just being a dick.
So now the space has been converted to a rather plesant little oasis with plants and lots of benches.
anyways thats my dissertation on how much i hate contemporary art and find it to lack relevance or meaning to the people it supposedly represents or defends. it takes itself too seriously and imposes arbitrary and hypocritical statements on the nature of art at the expense of any real substance. in the world we live in, pretty things for the sake of being pretty, having stories that are entertaining and engaging and relatable, having fun and feeling good in a world that devalues those things, etc. are far more impactful and radical than anything sitting in a museum created by some millionaire who jacks off to their “fine art”. thanks for coming to my ted talk have a good night
This man was commissioned and had the gall to say “Art isn’t for the public!” Like…you were paid in tax dollars you wet sock!
Relatable FE Quote or Something 