koalas are the worst mammal on earth and they’re right next to sunfish for being the most useless animal ever
they have the smallest brain-to-body-weight ratio in any terrestrial mammal, in fact their brain’s surface is smooth rather than rigid, which means their brain’s development is behind by millions of years compared to the rest of mammals
they only eat eucalyptus leaves, which is as nutritious as celery and is poisonous, and have to eat 2,000 a day in order to not starve to death. They refuse to eat any other flora, and if you place leaves that have been detached from a tree on a plate, they will refuse to eat them because they do not identify them as eucalyptus leaves
they contribute to environmental damage in Australia, as they will devour whole trees in an area, which contributes to brushfires by creating dead dry plants and ecological collapse as they deprive insects of food
because of their primitive brains, they lose balance a lot and end up falling out of trees and killing themselves, which has lead to the Australian “drop bear” myth that’s used to scare tourists
90% of the entire species has chlamydia, and so they all end up incontinent and dying in their own shit and piss after they either starve themselves from devouring an entire area’s supply of eucalyptus leaves, falling to their deaths, or brushfires they help cause
female koalas cannot produce milk needed to feed their young, so instead their young get their nutrition from scooping the mother’s shit from their asses with their clawed hands and eating it
they sound like this:
these things are such an evolutionary dead end I have no fucking clue how they’re still living, especially in a place as inhospitable as Australia
Relatable FE Quote or Something 