the road to el dorado when in the context of a d&d game is the most astounding and hellish streak of 1′s and 20′s
“The people think that you’re gods, what do you do?”
“…we go along with it.”
“Roll performance.”
“…I got a one.”
“Your foot gets caught in the stirrup while you try to dismount from the horse. You look ridiculous.”
“Well I rolled a twenty.”
“…somehow, a volcano stops erupting on your cue. Everyone falls to their knees in awe.”
“I roll to come up with an escape plan”
“Alright roll”
“…I got a one”
“I try to convince the horse to break us out”
“Roll…animal handling?”
“I got a twenty”
“You have been caught playing ball with the locals. What do you do?”
“I roll for persuasion…one.”
“You and your fellow player are roped into playing a game against a rival team of the biggest, buffest people imaginable while the entire city watches.”
“We decide to try cheating.”
“Okay, roll.”
“Twenty.”
“You use a physics-defying armadillo as a ball and he helps propel you to the win.”
Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”
Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*
Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”
Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*
Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”
Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*
Customer:“Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”
me: “I love and forgive him.”
Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”
Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*
I once took my kids to a local farm and we found a lil goat with its horns stuck in a fence, just sitting there kinda mournfully on the grass. We tried to help it get free but it was stuck tight. We petted it for a while and fed it some grass (as it had lawnmowered a circle around itself as far as it could reach), and then went back to the ticket office to tell them it needed help, but before I’d said more than: “There’s a goat-” the guy cut me off with a weary wave and said, “Yeah, we know. Stuck in the fence. That’s Brenda. She can get herself out whenever she wants. She just likes the attention.”
Relatable FE Quote or Something 